Rule Number 1. There are no rules?
In the summer, multiple people were telling me I needed to make some ground rules for my apartment next year. People told me that living with a bunch of people can cause general problems and I should address them now rather than later. I thought about this advice over and over and figured these people were older so they knew what they were talking about. My roommates and I had a Facebook thread so I decided to address the “rules” issue in the thread. Over the summer it was so hard for us to get together. I knew this was the best way to contact them before we came to Stockton. I knew by the time we were all settled in we would not want to talk about rules or any issues that might come up. I decided one night to type up a general list of issues my roommate, Hope and I were worried about and sent the message in the thread.
I started the message by saying how I hate to do this but I feel like we should talk about issues we all are concerned about. I stated how these aren’t technically “rules” but solutions on what to do if a problem comes up or to prevent a problem. I listed six issues I myself and Hope came up with. I talked about how I do not want any parties in our apartment. I do not want to host anything, and that they should go somewhere else. My other roommates like to drink a lot and we’re all under age so if there is any alcohol in our apartment there will be serious consequences. I mentioned I was not comfortable with parties at our place and if they could go somewhere else (which they do anyway). The next topic I talked about was the “boys” rule. One of my roommates is a little too friendly with boys to put it nicely. I made it sound like this issue is applied to all of us. I said if we have boyfriends or guys that if we could try and go to their place that would be greatly appreciated. I do not think anyone is comfortable with having a random guy in our apartment. It’s dangerous and inconsiderate. I told everyone that if they were to have a guy over let everyone know especially her actual roommate. These two issues were the most important topics to discuss because Hope and I knew we were going to encounter these problems. The rest were self explanatory clean up after yourselves, talk to each other if we are having problems, etc At the end of the thread, I say again these aren’t rules just some things that should be talked about before we go back to school. If anyone has her own thoughts and wants to share just do so. I made it open for them to write back with concerns or questions to get everything cleared.
I sent the thread at night and I get a message inbox the next morning. It was my good old friend Kate with a two page message response. Short story is Katie did not like the message I sent. She first started off her thread as , we are no one’s parents we do not need rules… She countered argued everything I said. She did not even try to compromise anything. She just completely argued everything against the thread. My other roommate Pauline sent her opinion saying she understood and was okay with the rules. Kate completely disregarded what Pauline wrote and still continued to feel like a victim. I called Kate that night saying how these weren’t the Ten Commandments and that there are issues that need to be address. She agreed to disagree.
