The Ten Commandments

Rule Number 1. There are no rules?

       In the summer, multiple people were telling me I needed to make some ground rules for my apartment next year. People told me that living with a bunch of people can cause general problems and I should address them now rather than later. I thought about this advice over and over and figured these people were older so they knew what they were talking about. My roommates and I had a Facebook thread so I decided to address the “rules” issue in the thread. Over the summer it was so hard for us to get together. I knew this was the best way to contact them before we came to Stockton. I knew by the time we were all settled in we would not want to talk about rules or any issues that might come up. I decided one night to type up a general list of issues my roommate, Hope and I were worried about and sent the message in the thread.

         I started the message by saying how I hate to do this but I feel like we should talk about issues we all are concerned about. I stated how these aren’t technically “rules” but solutions on what to do if a problem comes up or to prevent a problem. I listed six issues I myself and Hope came up with. I talked about how I do not want any parties in our apartment. I do not want to host anything, and that they should go somewhere else. My other roommates like to drink a lot and we’re all under age so if there is any alcohol in our apartment there will be serious consequences. I mentioned I was not comfortable with parties at our place and if they could go somewhere else (which they do anyway). The next topic I talked about was the “boys” rule. One of my roommates is a little too friendly with boys to put it nicely. I made it sound like this issue is applied to all of us. I said if we have boyfriends or guys that if we could try and go to their place that would be greatly appreciated. I do not think anyone is comfortable with having a random guy in our apartment. It’s dangerous and inconsiderate. I told everyone that if they were to have a guy over let everyone know especially her actual roommate. These two issues were the most important topics to discuss because Hope and I knew we were going to encounter these problems. The rest were self explanatory clean up after yourselves, talk to each other if we are having problems, etc At the end of the thread, I say again these aren’t rules just some things that should be talked about before we go back to school. If anyone has her own thoughts and wants to share just do so. I made it open for them to write back with concerns or questions to get everything cleared.

          I sent the thread at night and I get a message inbox the next morning. It was my good old friend Kate with a two page message response. Short story is Katie did not like the message I sent. She first started off her thread as , we are no one’s parents we do not need rules… She countered argued everything I said. She did not even try to compromise anything. She just completely argued everything against the thread. My other roommate Pauline sent her opinion saying she understood and was okay with the rules. Kate completely disregarded what Pauline wrote and still continued to feel like a victim. I called Kate that night saying how these weren’t the Ten Commandments and that there are issues that need to be address. She agreed to disagree.  

Eggs, Milk, Chesse, & A New Roommate

     It’s hard to communicate during the summer with four different schedules. My three roommates and I have talked to each other about little things concerning the apartment. Hope and I have lived together before so we pretty much knew we had everything for our room. In the summer we all took part in a thread on Facebook where we could share our ideas about the actual apartment. Hope said she was going to bring the microwave and I said I would bring a TV for the small common room. During the week I get a call from Kate. She was talking about what other stuff we needed for our apartment. The first thing Kate says to me is, “Are you bringing the TV down, because you said you were going to?” I was a little annoyed of how she worded the question but I told her yeah.

        The next thing Kate talks to me about is her meal plan. She goes, “Yeah I have a 95 meal plan this semester so we’ll probably be cooking a lot more than last year because we have a stove now.” Hold on, what is with the WE? So I told Kate how I have a 180 meal plan because my mom didn’t want to worry about me making my own food when I needed to go to class and work. My mom told me she would rather pay more on the meal plan because it was a good investment. She told me that groceries would cost the same amount if not more if I got the 95 meal plan. So I told Kate that I wasn’t planning on cooking because I will be getting my food at the college. Kate then goes, “Oh well I think that because we’re all eating in the apartment we should put in $20 a week for the groceries.” So everything that I just told Kate she completely ignored. I go to Kate, “I won’t be cooking though, what groceries are you talking about?” Her response was, “Oh you know all the common things like milk, eggs, spices, cheese, etc.” This is the part I was losing my patience. I told her, “Kate I have a meal plan, I’m not going to be cooking anything, especially eggs.” Kate just told me that you can never know and that one night I might get hungry and want to cook eggs. She also mentioned how we will be using spices if we ever want to be cooking chicken. Is this girl serious right now? If you want to avoid fights with your roommates, I suggest you get your own food. If we are all going to chip in let’s say $20 a week to share food it’s going to cause problems. You can have one person eating all the food so you don’t get your fair share, which is annoying and then another problem is you don’t want to pay for food you don’t eat! By this time in the conversation I was getting really irritated so I told Kate I had to go. I walked downstairs and looked in the fridge because I was annoyed and bored. As I glanced around to look for something to drink, I saw a carton of eggs. I just closed the door.

Background Information

My name is Aliya and I am a sophomore at The Richard Stockton College of New Jersey. I am currently living on campus with three other girls in a small apartment. My apartment contains a small common room, kitchen, bathroom, and two bedrooms. My actual roommate Hope was my roommate from freshmen year. We got along great so we decided to live with each other again. My other roommates are Kate and Pauline. I knew them because we all lived on the same floor in the freshmen dorms. The background story of us living together isn’t the ideal thought you might have conjectured. My roommate and I became really good friends with Pauline. In October of our freshmen year we knew we were going to live together. As months moved closer to April we came to the realization that we were going to have to get a random. During this time Kate was going to live with her two friends and also get a random. Then one day Kate was told by her friends that she can live with me because they wanted to live with two other girls. Personally I think that was a terrible thing to do but I was happy. Kate asked to live with us and we were all happy about it because we were all friends. I believed it would be so much fun now knowing our forth roommate and not having to deal with a random. I THINK I WAS WRONG.